NEPHART.COM

no matter how big the town is
when someone you love lives there
it feels like
the whole town belongs to you

its noises
its flowers
its trees

especially in autumn
when the leaves fall
and i crush them beneath my feet

their rustling makes me feel
she is calling me

when it rains in her town
the tiny droplets
feel like they are caressing my skin

which she never did

i used to walk
through every alley
every street
hoping for just one glimpse of her

just to see her
even from a distance

and my whole day
would become divine

there was not much else i could do
when my number was blocked

meeting her
would have been the best thing
after sunrise

sometimes
she would text me

and suddenly
hope would return

i would think
this is it

a new beginning

maybe now
she will meet me

but slowly
those messages became poison

because every message
gave me something to hope for
and every silence afterwards
took it away

she became
both the wound
and the medicine

the person hurting me
and the only person
i thought could heal me

i was never happy
on an ordinary swing

she moved me
with her mood swings

sometimes close
sometimes far

sometimes making me believe
there was something between us

i used to assume
she loved me

until one day
i understood

maybe i was only
her escape

a place she came to
when the person she loved
was too far from her

and strangely

like me
she too was chasing someone

while i was chasing her

and without knowing it
i had become part
of a circle

or maybe
a triangle

only god knows