NEPHART.COM

Whenever we moved up
to a new grade
we were excited
about our new books

the same old curriculum
but freshly printed
unexplored
untouched

we covered them carefully
in colourful covers
stuck our names on them

name
class
section

and on the first day
there was something beautiful
about carrying them
in my rucksack
to school

fresh books
spread across the desk

I used to think

from now on
I will study better
I will not miss a chapter
I will keep every page clean

no fingers stained with chips
no fingers covered in dirt

and no fighting with books
no hitting a friend on the head
when angry

the book was innocent

why drag it
into our arguments

let the book remain
at peace with its words

maths
science
social studies
history

all that serious knowledge
waiting quietly
between the covers

but as the months passed
those same books
became worn

corners folded
covers scratched
pages carrying little marks
of where we had been

and at the end of the year
they would rest
on a shelf

or pass into the hands
of someone younger

I sometimes wonder
how many hands
one book travels through

how many names
how many classrooms
how many memories
can live between
the same pages

because one of mine
still carries her

the day she forgot her book
and sat beside me

we shared mine

our heads bent
over the same page

I was supposed to be reading
but sometimes
I got lost in her

and without noticing
I would turn the page

she would tap my hand
with her soft fingers
and say

we are not there yet

but in my imagination
I had already gone
too far with her

far beyond the chapter
far beyond the classroom
far beyond that age

now whenever
I hold a fresh book
and leaf through its pages

for a moment
I feel her beside me again

reading

watching my hand
move towards the next page

and saying

you have gone too far
stick with the page

I wish age
worked the same way

that when we went too far
we could simply turn back

to the page
where someone we loved
was still sitting beside us

and stay there

because this time

I know

we are not there yet