NEPHART.COM

She said

she was tired of pretending

that she loved me

only to keep me

from straying

from my path

she had seen monks

and mystics

living such a stoic life

like fruit

left beneath the sun

all sweetness gone

I told her

that is not lifelessness

that is discipline

that is learning

to place desire down

one by one

If you do not love me

that is alright

you can stop pretending now

put that burden down

if you still wish

to carry something

carry one small memory

from the moment

you truly loved me

even if it lasted

only a single heartbeat

I will still rejoice

knowing

I was loved

for real

I never questioned

your smile

it rested on your face

the way a smile does

when someone

has found love

as if a falling star

had chosen only them

as if somewhere

in another world

our hearts

had already met

If you truly wish to leave

leave now

I will rest

beneath a quiet tree

far enough

that you cannot see me

maybe

we will never meet again

that does not frighten me

I am learning

to belong

to nothing

and no one

when I close my eyes

I will open them again

only

when I find the truth

I am not pretending

so do not return

telling me

you love me

only to pull me back

from my meditation

do not call me

back into this world

before I am ready

to let it go