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Someone asked me

what book should I buy for you

I said

buy me the book

that can instill hatred in my mind

because goodness is stuck to me

like an adhesive

and ordinary thoughts will never be enough

to peel it away

buy me a book that can make me cruel

utterly selfish from within

a book that burns through my heart

like fire

I want that book

because too much love

can sometimes kill you

give me something that can erase

every positive thought

a book that teaches bitterness

betrayal

and the art of becoming a monster

because perhaps then

I will finally realize

that it is a hundred times more painful

to remain a monster

than to be a simple

and good human being

then maybe

I will learn to compromise

with my pain

I will tell my soul

dont worry

you have read the worst

yet lived the best

live the best